MUSICAL UCU CHAIRS

Following our report in subtext 178 on the rather confused goings-on at the Lancaster UCU AGM we can report that things appear to have been sorted. Well, clarified. The bewilderment arose regarding the election of officers on the Lancaster UCU executive. Those attending the AGM were told that the actual posts (i.e. the people who would be taking up these positions) would be dealt with ‘in-house’ by the executive. No dissenting voices regarding this arrangement at the AGM and within a fortnight the executive delivered on its promise.

The reason for all this obfuscation was a falling out behind the scenes. Trade unions have historically been broach churches with diverse memberships and this is reflected in individual branches. Lancaster UCU is not untypical in that regard, and fissures will occasionally ensue.
 
The outcome of all this is that it is all change at the top table of Lancaster UCU. They now have a new President, Vice-President, Treasurer, Secretary, Membership Officer, Equality Officer and Anti-Casualisation Officer. The post of Welfare Officer has also been created. subtext wishes them all well, so that Lancaster continues to be strongly represented in what may be another fractious year in the sector.

SHART ATTACK

FROM: Chas Phockwoddes, Lead Male Member: Child Services, Lune Valley County Council
TO: Hewlett Venklinne, Provost of Press
CC: Mike M. Shart, VC, Lune Valley Enterprise University (LuVE-U)
SUBJECT: Cathy Smithen-Wesson Comments on Floods

Cathy Smithen-Wesson’s utterly ubiquitous response to the floods

Councillor Chas Phockwoddes is today TRIGGERING the absent Lune Valley MP Cathy Smithen-Wesson with FACTS AND LOGIC following her recent comments regarding the November floods.

‘Cathy Smithen-Wesson’s exegeses in last week’s paper were so ubiquitous. She inculpitates the Government for the Lune Valley floods, yet ignores the fact her Labour-run City Council is proposing to build five hundred million houses right on the bank of the River Lune, and has specifically hired builders with one star ratings on Google Reviews and instructed them to ensure maximum subsidence so that decent hard working voters end up in the river while they’re innocently taking a bath, all covered in rubble, like. Even last week yet another bleedin’ application was pushed through by the casting vote of one Labour Councillor. Is he having a laugh or what? It’s absolutely ubiquitous! Why won’t Cathy lay off the epidural drugs for five minutes, get on the dog and bone and tell her old chinas to leave it out? All she’s done is had her barnet done and gone out to take a few dolly mixtures with the locals, whereas I’ve done loads of stuff! I mean do me a favour. It just goes to show doesn’t it?’

ENDS

For any further information, please contact me. I’m available at all hours of the day, every day, to talk about absolutely anything, not just this. I’m happy to be featured in any way I can in anything that you decide to run. Just get in touch. Always happy to help. Can do radio and telly too if that’s more your bag. I look great on the telly. Just let me know.

***

FROM: Mike M. Shart, VC, Lune Valley Enterprise University (LuVE-U).
TO: Hewlett Venklinne, Provost of Press.
SUBJECT: FWD:

Hewlett — This press release was, as I understand it, sent to every media outlet in the local area regardless of relevance to the publication or veracity of the facts contained therein. This press release was written by its own subject, demonstrating excessive hubris and conviction bordering on self-delusion, and attacks its organisation’s competition with scant regard for cooperation, respect, and an understanding of the facts of the issue it discusses. On top of that it is dripping with insincerity, relies on cheeky chappie bluster to get ahead, and will likely be lapped up by people susceptible to superficial charm.

Why can’t we do more stuff like that?

Mike.

SUBTEXT – THE POEM: 17/18

Panic in granadaland
better sorry than safe
dragging us into a black and white photograph
their tongues are silver forks. There’s a lack of wisdom, you can hear it on their breath
empowering your opinion with impartial information.

For the avoidance of subtext
a frontier without borders, a subtext without regulatory alignment
complicated actuarial subtext
ambitious managed divergent subtext
the stable genius of a shithole subtext
giving our graduates the tools to make subtexting happen.

Building a subtext that works  or everyon
the future ain’t what it used to be
be realistic and demand the impossible
accelerate… but remember speed kills.

TV REVIEW: JARGON

We think this is a first for subtext: a review of a television programme, namely Jonathan Meades on Jargon (BBC4, 10.30pm, 27 May), which readers can still catch via the BBC iplayer (https://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b09xzsbp – programme no longer available, link provided for reference). Only those with a certain kind of sensibility are likely to enjoy every last drop of what is, in effect, an illustrated lecture in which Meades praises slang, the language of the common person, and attacks jargon, used by idiots and charlatans. If you are the sort of person who giggles at the use of term ‘offal-rubbing’ for sexual intercourse or laughs out loud at the description of the jargoneer as someone who ‘gives great forelock’, then you will greatly enjoy this.

Meades begins with a splendid and heartening defence of slang. Slang gets to the core of what we actually think rather than what we are bullied into thinking. Slang is wildly creative; so much of the pleasure of it lies in its making. Meades own invented adjective badered means legless, derived from the flying ace Douglas Bader, who lost both his legs while doing aerobatics. Slang is the opposite of jargon, it has a directness which forms a vital antidote to obfuscation. Jargon, on the other hand, is the language of the trained liar, it is everything slang is not: ‘Centrifugal, evasive, drably euphemistic, unthreatening, conformist.’ While slang belongs to the gutter, ‘jargon belongs to the executive estate,’ he says. ‘It is the clumsy, graceless, inelegant, aesthetically bereft expression of houses with three garages … It is delusional, it inflates pomposity, officiousness and self-importance, rather than punctures them.’

His passionate rant demonstrates how jargon has infected everything – including universities of course. And because you cannot separate jargon from its users, there is plenty of scope for wicked personal attacks – the usual suspects come in for some savage onslaughts.

Clearly polemical rather than carefully argued, and a bit lax on terminology, but nevertheless the subtext reviewer drone felt he a good thesis in the first half hour of the programme. It was surprising that he only quoted George Orwell once, at the end of the first half, given that the 1946 essay ‘Politics and the English Language’ basically makes exactly the same point about jargon – and the book 1984 was a chilling illustration of what happens when you take jargon to its logical extreme. In the second half, regional varieties came in for a surprise attack. Meades clearly knows very little about how language works. The very points he was trying to make against regional dialects could equally have been made about what he called ‘slang’ at the beginning (where he was essentially talking about sociolects, i.e. class dialects, though there were some regional aspects to the examples he gave too). Received Pronunciation (RP) was never some golden age lingua franca, as Meades contends – it was an accent (note, not a dialect) spoken as a first-language variety by a small minority consisting of the wealthy elites, and acquired (to a greater or lesser extent) by a certain number of less affluent (but still privileged) who worked in the media and certain other professions. At least one of the examples he gave (the footballer, Denis Law) was very obviously *not* using RP! But his comments on Gaelic were absolutely unforgivable, and incredibly ignorant of the importance of language in the retention of identity and culture.

At this point, your hard-working reviewer drone began to overheat a little. Given the ‘meta’ nature of his arguments, using slang to praise slang, jargon to decry jargon, RP to praise RP, funny accents to make fun of funny accents… can anything he said be taken seriously? Is it all just a big joke at the BBC’s expense, allowing Meades to repeatedly use the tabooest of taboo language on national TV? Should any readers have views on this, slang-filled and jargon-free letters are welcome at the usual address.

LETTERS

Dear subtext,

I am an enormous fan of subtext and have been over a number of years. I have been especially impressed by reports on UA92 and much more. This meant I was surprised to see the report on Bailrigg garden village which seemed to lack your usual depth, questions and challenges. Bailrigg garden village has been in the public domain since January 2017 and the ‘issues and options’ drop ins followed Local Plan drop ins in February 2017 and consultations in October 2017. In other words it has been around for rather a long time.

Am puzzled by the housing numbers that you quote since there is a bid in to the Housing Infrastructure Fund – something in the region of £150m on the basis of there being 3,500 houses. This is to justify some funding for the reconfigured motorway junction, the crossing of the mainline west coast railway to access the site, to develop the bus system etc. Maybe a first question to ask is what are the infrastructure costs associated with this particular site? Given recent history of expenditure overruns on say the Bay Gateway the track record is not encouraging.

This week’s Lancaster Guardian (paper edition) includes a two page special report entitled: ‘There’s a sense that Galgate doesn’t count: seven months on from the major flooding that hit Galgate, residents are becoming increasingly concerned about new building developments that could leave them at even more risk than ever before’:

https://www.lancasterguardian.co.uk/news/galgate-residents-reveal-frustration-desperation-and-depression-after-2017-floods-1-9208157

You seem to be dismissing the community impact of Bailrigg garden village as something that only affects Burrow Heights and the tone is ‘well so what?’ Galgate, Bailrigg village, Burrow Heights and Scotforth are Bailrigg garden village’s neighbours. The November floods affected all those areas and additional building simply adds to concerns. Did you attend the recent open meetings around the Health Innovation Campus? Those meetings highlighted how the local communities felt about drainage from University development flowing into the Ou Beck and the Burrow Beck – residents were anxious and angry. Did you read about the angry flood meetings in December following last year’s floods? Residents were not reassured by Lancaster City Council that Bailrigg garden village would solve all that, far from it.

Another question to ask is what relationship, if any, does the university have to Bailrigg garden village? It isn’t at all clear and with a venture that is causing so much local concern it would be interesting to know. Where will people work who live in Bailrigg garden village? I have long been confused by seeming conflicting employment projections from the Health Innovation Campus.

2,000 jobs are quoted in the publicity – how has that figure been arrived at?

There is also massive worry about air quality in South Lancaster, highlighted in research from LEC. You commented on the very vague ‘plans’ for rapid bus transport and the belief that the reconfigured motorway junction would solve air quality for Galgate. But would it? What will happen to Scotforth and the Pointer roundabout, already hardly quiet, if spiralling costs or planning issues and personal choice mean people still use their cars to take their kids to school, to go to the supermarket, etc.?

I am a retired member of the University and I am a Galgate resident so you could say I am an interested party. You normally provide an excellent set of insights and hope this letter might be helpful.

Best wishes,

Mary Rose

***

Dear subtext,

Thought this might be of interest. A group of squatters recently occupied one of Gary Neville’s properties in Manchester in part to protest against the lack of affordable housing in the city and Neville’s role in gentrification. Their collective statement (cited in the below piece) directly takes aim at the UA92 plan and its relationship to the wider marketisation of HE.

https://freedomnews.org.uk/gary-neville-luxury-development-occupied-by-persons-unknown/

Best wishes,

Toby Atkinson

subtext 179 – ‘dragging us into a black and white photograph’

Fortnightly during term time.

Letters, contributions, & comments: subtext-editors@lancaster.ac.uk

Back issues & subscription details: http://wp.lancs.ac.uk/subtext/about/

In this issue: editorial, LUSU, access, calling on gary, lost & found, fascists, tech, canal quarter, garden village, sports science, impact!, more access, no letters.

*****************************************************

EDITORIAL

In the last edition of subtext we focused on the subject of precarity. In this issue we highlight the problem of access for those colleagues and visitors with mobility problems. The rather tired cliché trotted out by senior management is that this is the price we have to pay to stay at the top table and continue to see Lancaster ‘punching above its weight’ is nonsense.

The politics surrounding the sector, the increased marketization, the stifling of debate and the closing down of democratic structures and the ongoing farce that is UA92 are subjects that subtext will return to again and again, but campus accessibility and job security are not areas that should be a cause for concern at this university.

Oh, did we mention how much we like the wild flowers and grasses on the roundabout at the far end of the underpass – very nice.

ANOTHER GLORIOUS VICTORY FOR SUBTEXT

In subtext 178, we helpfully noted that LUSU’s online general meeting was not only completely unconstitutional, but also easy to game, as it was possible for students to vote as many times as they wished. Since our report, we note that LUSU has sent out a ‘special newsletter’ to promote participation, which also clarifies that in the event of multiple votes from a user, only the first vote will be counted.

We are, however, disappointed to note that LUSU is continuing to promote voting in this unconstitutional and illegitimate general meeting, held to approve or disapprove their affiliations for the next academic year. We reiterate that LUSU’s constitution and bye-laws do not allow for General Meetings to be conducted in this way. Eager to help, we have decided to place this piece at the top of our running order, so that LUSU cannot possibly miss it.

PUBLIC RELATIONS

Don’t tell anyone – they will never notice. If you go on the university website and click on ‘campus accessibility’ you are invited to visit DisabledGo for a disability access guide to Lancaster University. It has not been updated for over a year and not surprisingly there is no mention of any development work. All the pictures show unproblematic access to all areas. Obviously the university is not going to show the reality of the situation, all publicity material is by its very nature somewhat economical with the truth, but a simple statement advising people that there may be problems for folk with limited mobility would not go amiss. Anyone with mobility problems who consulted the university webpages before popping over for a visit would be in for a major surprise. subtext has already been told of some folk who did in fact do that very thing and were quite angry about having been given no clue whatsoever what awaited them on arrival. See our extended piece below on the horrors of navigating campus when you have restricted mobility.

SPECIAL REPORT: WHO’S CALLING?

It’s hard to keep up with how Gary Neville is getting on with his university, UA92, what with the lack of information or active verbs on its website. We usually rely on the national press, local election results, and Twitter meltdowns (subtext 177) to keep abreast of what he’s up to. Since his plan to colonise the Turn Moss open green space and turn it into a bunch of football pitches was torpedoed, Gary has retreated, presumably to regroup and thrash out the finer details of running a university. Details like ‘where will the students live?’, ‘who is going to be in charge of the university?’, and ‘where is our university going to be?’ subtext decided to seek answers straight from the horse’s mouth, and called UA92’s general enquiries number.
 
subtext’s sleuth made three phone calls under three different guises to get some fundamental questions answered. Before we start, subtext wishes to make clear that the staff at the other end of the line were at all times helpful, friendly, professional, and working very, very hard with very little material. Here’s what we learned.

***

DISABILITIES

Our first ‘caller’ wanted to know about provisions for disabled students. Basic things, like disability support services, SpLD assessments, provision for targeted learning support, that any university worth its salt is going to have. At present, nothing whatsoever is in place to deal with any of these issues. UA92 does ‘aim to be’ an inclusive university that does not discriminate against students based on their abilities (although its obsession with physical fitness using lean, athletic looking types in its marketing might be somewhat alienating to those of us who can’t ‘Feel The Burn’ quite as easily as others), and is ‘sure’ that all of this will be in place by the time applications open. This suggests that the senior management team hasn’t even begun to think about it, and while they do ostensibly have over a year to put it in place before students arrive, UA92’s call handlers surely don’t want to have to be speaking in terms of ‘plans’ and ‘aims’ two months before applications open. Such a vague set of aims and objectives in the place of a robust strategy is also not going to go down well with Trafford’s new local administration, who are seeking to review all of Gary’s plans before giving him the nod to lay the first brick.
 
***
 
PLACEHOLDER
 
Our next caller, seeking to study journalism, wanted to know what sorts of placements Gary had to offer him.

The first issue, not to put too fine a point on it, is that UA92 does not have even close to enough exciting placements to offer to prospective students. At present, they are only able to confidently state that Microsoft and Lancashire Cricket Club (both of whom are partners) will be offering placements. Is somebody with an interest in studying journalism going to be enticed by the opportunity to cut their teeth at Lancashire Cricket Club? No, and our ‘caller’ made that clear. At present, UA92 has no relationship to boast of with any of the innumerable media organisations operating within Manchester, and given that other universities in the area already have direct lines and fruitful relationships with the big swingers in media city, it’s not going to be logistically easy to get busy media organisations like the BBC to take a plethora of students on placements, let alone to ask them to help design the curriculum …

… Yes, UA92’s partners are expected to have a hand in ‘designing the curriculum’, although how anybody can be helping to develop the curriculum either at present or in the future, given that our curriculum was supposedly submitted for approval earlier this year, is anybody’s guess. subtext understands that QAA accepts curricula on a rolling basis, but it would be really helpful if the curriculum was set in stone before September, when UA92 is meant to start accepting applications.

Another logistically challenging (read: ill thought out) promise is that all students will undertake a paid placement. Unlike paid placements at Lancaster, which are taken up during sandwich years, UA92 placements will be woven into the course. It’s not quite up there with a paid year in industry, but it’s not uncommon for a work placement to form part of a module. What is uncommon is for vocational placements woven into a course to be paid. This adds an extra layer of complexity to Gary’s already vexing workload – he not only has to convince a hell of a lot of people to take on his students as part of a course and provide an experience in line with a curriculum and learning outcomes, he’s going to have to convince them to pay students for the privilege.

Each call handler we spoke to was keen to stress that Microsoft and Lancashire Cricket Club are ‘Not The Only’ organisations they have on board, and they are planning to ‘drip through’ numerous big names over the coming months. That sounds like code for ‘they are the only people we have on board right now.’ subtext understands the value of a slow burn marketing campaign, but if a university is three months away from accepting actual UCAS applications from actual people who want to know if they are worth being their top choice, everything should be in the window. Students take their choices very seriously, and while Gary can get away with buzzwords and cliches while he’s hyping without consequence, he’s going to have to have something far more substantial to offer when potential students, income, and business partners are riding on his verbiage.

***

INTERNATIONAL FRIENDLIES

In subtext 177, we reported that the Home Office rejected Gary’s application to be able to sponsor of Tier 4 visa students. In subtext 178, we reported that our ‘cunning plan’ was simply to sponsor Tier 4 visa applicants ourselves. The people manning the phones at UA92, meanwhile, have come up with a compromise – apparently, Tier 4 applicants will be ‘co-sponsored’ by both UA92 and Lancaster University. We’re not entirely sure if this is allowed. But anyway. What would our being the sponsor of Tier 4 visa applicants at UA92 mean? Potentially, UA92 would have to become a satellite campus. Does this mean that, by extension, we would also have to bear their NSS and TEF scores which, in any new institution, are likely not to be perfect? The conflict between UA92’s explicitly profit-oriented approach and Lancaster’s Royal Charter constituted status as a public body could also cause us some interesting constitutional and legal crises.

Ultimately, though, the greatest risk is borne by the Trafford taxpayers. UA92 is, as Gary’s original business plan stressed, utterly financially reliant on a strong international student intake. Existing universities all but acknowledge that their wheels would fall off without their investment. If Gary doesn’t deliver on his promises to bring foreign lucre to the local economy, UA92 runs the risk of becoming the academic equivalent of the Mr. Blobby amusement parks of the late 1990s.

We will be extremely surprised if UA92 looks anything like a serious university come September 2018 when it opens for applications, and the responsibility lies with senior managers, who should know better than to coast on slogans and clichés rather than solid strategies.
 
***

AND ANOTHER THING

If readers think phoning UA92 is going to leave them none-the-wiser, they should see the website…

In order to understand what makes UA92, which is promoted more like a Jordan Peterson talk than a university, such a ‘game changer’, it might be worth visiting the ‘our philosophy’ section of the website. Since the page is so difficult to find, however, subtext is happy to reproduce its contents:

‘No page has been found.’

LU TEXT LOST AND FOUND

Once again, we bring you Lancaster’s recognition in the national press that somehow didn’t make it into LU Text’s ‘Lancaster in the Media Roundup.’

LU Text has been on the ball, so we’ve not got much to share. We did, however, enjoy the New Statesman’s account of our esteemed Pro-Chancellor Lord Liddle ‘waddling’ over to Peter Mandelson to celebrate Corbyn defeats in the commons over Brexit. https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/uk/2018/05/commons-confidential-peter-mandelson-s-double-trouble

ILLUSION OF PERMANENCE

Lancaster’s fascist would-be student society, whose behaviour at a public talk on the politics of fear (subtext 173) and rejection by LUSU as an official society (subtext 176) is well documented, are at it again. This time, they’ve publicly promoted an event, ‘What is the Value of Capitalism?’ It might sound like your bog standard management school student style debate, but any debate seeking to discuss whether capitalism leads to the ‘destruction of natural hierarchies and identities’ is bound to raise eyebrows.

Local activists didn’t disappoint. subtext understands that the group in question (who we continue to refuse to name) attempted to book a table for ten at a Lancaster venue on Tuesday 5th June. Upon being made aware of the sort of company they were about to keep, the venue in question immediately cancelled the event. The advice from the local police to venues who might unwittingly be hosting far-right functions is to cancel any such event, the worry being that the opposition from decent people would lead to a public order offence. Failure to comply could lead to the revocation of licenses. Thankfully for the far-right student group, they had booked multiple venues, and had publicly urged supporters to meet a delegate at Common Garden Street in order to be directed to the correct location.

According to numerous eyewitness accounts, one member of the group in question, who is known to have joined Generation Identity protests, was present on Common Garden Street to welcome attendees. No attendees showed up, but the member in question was flanked by three individuals, who were acting as his ‘private security.’ He was also joined and, indeed, outnumbered by, a number of individuals from various local anti-fascist groups. A vociferous conversation ensued, in which our fascist declared that the ‘SS instilled a sense of national pride’, adding that he didn’t believe in ‘pride’ as a concept. He claimed that he didn’t personally know other members of the group who had behaved in the ways described in subtext’s reports (even though he has publicly shared photographs of himself with them). Indeed, he even suggested that a splinter-group might be in the works, due to differences in ideology. After affirming that he was ‘scared for [his] white skin’, he complained that he had once been assaulted for being white, failing to add ‘supremacist’ and ‘by antifa’ to various junctures in his sentence.

The behaviour of our fascist’s security detail is also worthy of note. One of the trio was unhappy with the idea of being filmed or photographed in any way, and the anti-fascist protesters duly obliged and put away their phones. She then proceeded to unsheathe her own phone and record the vast majority of the altercation. Another ‘guard’, who was variously described as ‘a whirling dervish’, ‘tired and emotional’, and ‘clearly on something’, made many memorable interjections – including to declare himself a national socialist. In general, it was felt that he frequently invaded the personal space of those in attendance, at one point nearly elbowing a pensioner in the face. He was difficult to pin down verbally – in some instances he was admitting to his ‘boss’ that the protesters ‘had a point’, in others, he openly mocked a protestor’s Polish accent. All throughout, he was reportedly laughing like a hyena. Our fascist’s entourage are said to have distanced themselves from his views, insisting that they were simply his mates with his personal safety at heart. Stockholm syndrome?

Our fascist has announced that a ‘report’ and ‘video footage’ are forthcoming. It’ll take an awful lot of editing to present him in a positive light, but we await it with bated breath all the same.

HOUSEKEEPING

The ‘like’ counter on our The FaceBooks profile continues to soar. We occasionally upload original content onto our page, so if you don’t want to miss out, then don’t forget to ‘like’, ‘poke’ and ‘comment’ on us, at facebook.com/lusubtext

We are also still on the lookout for new editors to join our team and help us to maintain the quality and regularity that subtext has enjoyed for many years. We sent out a general call for help last Monday, and we would love to hear from people who want to know more.

BUNGLED, RE-DRAWN AND QUARTERED

As if the building works on campus weren’t enough to deal with, our eagle-eyed subtext narrowboat drivers have spotted another concrete block on the horizon. Readers who keep up with the local news will have spotted much recent to-ing and fro-ing by Lancaster City Council over the area formerly known as ‘The Canal Corridor’ in the centre of Lancaster (perhaps better called ‘The Car Park Corridor’ as most of the Council-owned land in the area consists of the income generating car parks off St. Leonardsgate and to the South of Moor Lane).
 
Over the years there have been many twists and turns in the fate of this area, including the recent discovery that British Land (who own much of the old Mitchells Brewery buildings on the site) are based offshore for tax purposes, the plans for an arts hub to rival the best, and the lack of consultation with less ‘PR friendly’ residents such as the Musicians Co-op and Lancaster and District Homeless Action Service. The more recent complications were brought to light by a City Councillor who defied the Council embargo on sharing information with the public. (See: https://virtual-lancaster.net/news-story/green-party-spills-beans-risky-canal-corridor-leases)
 
This set of revelations also brought to light the huge financial burden that would be placed on the Council if the deal with British Land went through (don’t mention Blobbygate or the Market!), and funnily enough shortly afterwards the Council announced it was pulling out. However, it also highlighted just how much our venerable institution was also involved in plans, and in fact the University is still a ‘key partner’ in the new, sexy ‘Canal Quarter’ plans. (See: http://www.lancaster.gov.uk/news/2018/mar/canal-corridor)
 
Of course, you would expect a higher education institution with a strategic focus on engagement, who is a key partner in a landmark redevelopment of a city centre, to ensure that adequate public engagement might actually take place, in a best-practice style. But, apparently the Council know best, and have decided on 9 ‘principles’ for the development of the Canal Quarter, which are then accompanied in the online questionnaire with a series of rather narrowly focused ‘explanations’ of what each principle means, resulting less in actual involvement of local people, and more in ‘do you like this list we wrote?’: http://www.lancaster.gov.uk/news/2018/may/have-your-say-on-canal-quarter-principles)
 
subtext observes that there is no limit to the number of times you can complete the questionnaire, and encourage all readers to ‘engage’ as much as they can before the survey closes on 13th June.

GARDEN VILLAGES OF TO-MORROW

It’s consultations galore at the moment. The city council is presently carrying out an ‘Issues and Options’ consultation on Bailrigg Garden Village, including several drop-in events during June. For details, go to:

https://www.lancaster.gov.uk/planning/planning-policy/bailrigg-garden-village

The first drop-in session was on Wednesday 6 June in the Bowland Suite at the Lancaster House Hotel, so subtext dropped in to take a look. The room was busy, with over 20 people poring over the maps, diagrams and artists’ impressions.

At the moment, Bailrigg Garden Village is just a shaded area on a map, the ‘Bailrigg Garden Village Broad Area of Growth’. It’s bigger than you might imagine – north to south it goes from Collingham Park to the outskirts of Galgate, while from west to east it includes the canal, the railway line, the A6, campus, the M6, Forrest Hills and a large part of the Conder Valley. Council officers were keen to stress that much of the land in the shaded area will not be developed but instead ‘retained as existing’ or designated as ‘Village Greenspace’ – how much development, and where, is the main subject of the consultation. An initial meeting with local landowners – subtext was told there were between 60 and 80 with ‘land interests’ in the area – took place this week.

Three ‘spatial options’ have been worked out, and all of them situate the majority of Garden Village development in Burrow Heights, to the west of the railway line. The village centre is likely to be close to Burrow Road. None of the options envisage any residential development east of the M6, due to the risk of flooding in the River Conder catchment area, and there’s not much scope for significant university development there either. Despite the name, the existing Bailrigg village looks like surviving largely intact.

The three options are the ‘concentrated village’ (Burrow Heights, basically), the ‘dispersed village’ (Burrow Heights plus most of the land north of Burrow Heights and Bailrigg, not including the land either side of Burrow Beck which would be left as ‘greenspace’) and the ‘concentrated village with possible site extensions’ (covering the same area as the ‘dispersed village’, but only Burrow Heights would be developed in Garden Village style, the rest being earmarked for regular residential development). The first option scores highest for all the policy objectives, except (predictably) meeting our future housing needs.

How many dwellings are we talking about? The likely density is between 30 and 50 dwellings per hectare. According to a table on housing supply shown to subtext, the planners currently forecast Garden Village construction to start in 2021/22, with 205 houses built between then and 2023/24, a further 700 built between 2024/25 and 2028/29, and a further 750 built between 2029/30 and 2033/34.

What about transport links, then? There will hopefully be funding to reconfigure Junction 33 of the M6, although no plans for this were on display at all, except for an ‘illustrative transport sketch’ showing a pair of red arrows pointing to where Hazelrigg Lane currently passes under the M6 at the southern end of campus. Despite many calls for ‘Bailrigg Halt’ railway station, this seems highly unlikely to happen. Instead, we get ‘Bus Rapid Transport’ (more buses, in other words, although probably more bus lanes as well) and a ‘Cycle Superhighway’ between Bailrigg and the city centre.

Our verdict? subtext was cautiously impressed, although if we lived in Burrow Heights we might be a little more sceptical! Readers are encouraged to attend a drop-in session (six more are planned), question the officers, and respond to the consultation. The deadline for responses is 11 July 2018.

SPORT, SPORT, MASCULINE SPORT

Another exciting new opportunity on the Lancaster University jobs site – Lecturer in Sports Science (Biomechanics) with the exciting prospect of a ‘Human Performance Laboratory which will have teaching, research and commercial functions. The Human Performance Laboratory will initially be housed at a separate site which is presently being developed.’ Errm, would this site have any connection with UA92’s Human Performance Lab (they’re informal, like, so it’s lost the ‘oratory’ in their literature)? Hopefully ‘being developed’ will shift from the present continuous to the past tense faster than e.g. the Spine redevelopment, as the first cohort are due to start in September. The curious will note that senior figures in sports science at Lancaster have failed to update their websites to include this connection.

IMPACTED WISDOM

With the REF looming, our leaders’ thoughts turn to imaginative strategies for increasing our research ‘impact’ other than simply adequately funding and allowing researchers the time to do it.. These range from University-wide projects such as IDEAS for Impact, to the neoliberalisation of funding via the sacred concept of competition. Across the faculties, FASS apparently likes impact from ‘mew’ projects (sic), and FHM pronounces a ‘Biannual Impact Audit and Report’. Leading the way is FST, which promises ‘Research Impact Fund-Grants of up to £5000… to support academics in the generation, tracking and evidencing of impact, linked to excellent research… enhance the Faculty’s impact return to (REF)… supports the impact environment… internationally-leading outputs and a rolling set of impact cases’. Well quite. Here’s hoping they don’t roll away pre-REF.

So, in order to assist going forward in the impact environment, what does the researcher have to do? Firstly, hold meetings (obviously) with departmental and faculty impact champions and managers, and fill in an application to be assessed by a committee ‘comprising the Faculty Impact Manager and 3 nominated members of a designated RESEARCH IMPACT FUND SUB-COMMITTEE of the FST RESEARCH IMPACT COMMITTEE’ (our capitals). In this example, a psychologist, an ecologist and a botanist could be judging an astrophysics project. Does anyone REALLY think that this is a sensible idea? Is the free market ethos so firmly embedded that just funding good research without introducing some element of competition is anathema to the facultocracy? Or are they simply accepting that they aren’t wise enough to take the decisions, so delegate to subcommittees in an attempt to show ‘due process’?

Experience has shown that any success involves many follow-up meetings with both impact champions and managers, where beleaguered academics find themselves repeatedly explaining their work and why it has yet to feature in the FTSE index despite faculty assistance. Apart from the risk of funding inappropriate projects – the ones written by the best sales-people and not the best researchers – this policy has another unintended drawback (wasting huge amounts of time in form fillings and meetings is assumed to be regarded as a plus – a mutual job creation scheme for those who prefer talking to doing). Unfortunately, many good researchers find the meeting-heavy process so aversive they might just get on with their research and not engage with the process at all – possibly no bad thing for the march of progress but unlikely to be what our leaders intended.

ACCESS ALL AREAS

We are all mightily fed-up with navigating our way around the building site that is campus. Yes, it is inconvenient and means a few more minutes walking from one part of campus to another. But what does all this chaos mean if your mobility is restricted in any way? Below we reproduce some edited selections from announcements made by Disability Services over the last couple of months.

28th March: To access the North Spine from Alexandra Square […] Approach the North Spine from Alexandra Square keeping to the left. When at the top of the steps in Alexandra Square turn half left and head towards the entrance to the side of the Learning Zone. Proceed through the Learning Zone to the right and follow the route through to the doors opposite. Once through the doors turn right and head through the cut through, bringing you out next to the Pharmacy and Santander. Please note that the accessible route to the North Spine leads through the Faraday Complex. Please be aware that the route through Physics garden may be temporarily restricted in width due to works in the area. Access North of Blackwell’s Bookshop is closed along the Spine. To access the Spine North of Blackwell’s Bookshop use the following route from Physics Garden. Here there are two routes – a route through Bowland Quad and an alternate route through the Faraday Complex (Faraday Route is accessible, Bowland Quad is not accessible unless proceeding to the perimeter road). Faraday Complex Route: Proceed from the North Spine up the ramp towards the Physics Building. Halfway up the ramp, follow the route round to the left towards the Faraday Building. Enter the Faraday Building and turn right. Proceed through the building turning Left and continuing through the corridor to exit the building via the Chemistry main doors. Turn right on exiting the Chemistry Building and follow the wooden fencing 10 – 15 metres before following it left and continuing on the pathway. At the end of the wooden fencing, proceed forwards on the pathway until you reach grass. At this point you may turn left down some stairs if you are able to do so. This will take you in to County South Quad where you may access the Spine via either cut-through. If unable to take the stairs, turn right and follow the pathway, keeping to the left which will lead you to the County South PDR’s (Private Dining Rooms). Proceed through the doors which will lead to the Lounge restaurant in County South Quad. Bowland Quad Route: Proceed from the North Spine, back through either cut-through in to Bowland Quad. Once in the Quad, turn right and follow the pathway route towards the Welcome Centre. Once you have navigated the Quad, cut-through the building by turning right and proceeding to the Welcome Centre at the top of Bowland Avenue. Join the pathway on Bowland Avenue on the North side and follow the road until you reach Great Hall Square. Once you reach Great Hall Square, the route through Great Hall Square to reach Great Hall Court (County Diner etc.) is clear as usual. Please note that access is closed from County South Laundrette to the Bowland North entrance of the North Spine. County South Laundrette is out of use. The nearest launderette to this location is County Main.

11th April: Edwards Roberts Court will be shut from 8am Thursday 12th to 6pm Friday 13th April. Access to the ramp and the Deli will be restricted.

13th April: From Monday 16th April, the cut-through from Bowland North Quad to the North Spine will close for the duration of Summer Term, in addition to existing closures in the area. An alteration to the existing closure along the North Spine, between FASS and Bowland North will prevent pedestrian access from the North Spine in to Bowland North Quad. Access to the Bowland Building remains available from Bowland North Quad but a diversion is necessary to gain access from the Spine. Heading North on the Spine, the steps to the right leading to Chemistry remain open, the diverted route from there is across the bottom of John Creed avenue entering back towards the spine by the back of the Private Dining Rooms (County South). The accessible diversion route will remain; up the ramp in Physics Garden, through the Faraday building into the Chemistry building, across the bottom of John Creed Avenue, joining the same route.

1st May: The main entrance of the Faraday building will be closed, however, the current diverted route will remain accessible through Physics Garden. A pedestrian route along the North Spine is in place via a set of steps up to Chemistry. Please note this is not a wheelchair accessible route. Alternatively, for travel to the Great Hall and County College, an accessible route is available through Bowland Quad.

11th May: During the works, a diverted route will be signposted through the Learning Zone in to Bowland Quad. The cut-through adjacent to Blackwell’s Bookshop is open and leads to the North Spine. Access to the ATM at Santander will not be accessible during these works however; all retail outlets will remain open and accessible via the diverted route. The diverted accessible route to FASS and beyond remains in place through Physics Garden, in to the Faraday Complex and out of the main entrance to the Chemistry building.

Also 11th May: New handrails will be installed in Great Hall Court […] The ramp in this area will need to be altered as part of the works and as a result will be out of use for the duration of the works […] An accessible diversion has been put in place to mitigate the impact of the ramp closure.

25th May: Over the next 4-6 weeks, a series of phased works will be carried out to the South Spine between the Science and Technology building and Engineering building. The first phase of works shall be conducted over the next 10 days to the ramp adjacent to the pond in Engineering Square. Drainage is being installed to the ramp and as such will be closed for the duration of the works. An accessible diversion is in place through the Science and Technology building, although please be aware that the building closes at 9pm each night and reopens at 7:30 a.m. each morning. Fylde Quad to Engineering, Science and Technology, LUMS and beyond: Leaving the South Spine from Furness College Court, turn left in to Fylde Quad (at the top of the ramp at Engineering Square). Continue through Fylde Quad being cautious of planters and pillars within the Quad. When through the quad, turn right heading towards the rear entrance of Science and Technology. (A pathway leads half right through the courtyard). Enter the Science and Technology building keeping to the left and head towards the exit on the opposite side of the foyer. Use the left hand doors to exit, as the right hand doors are closed-off. Upon exiting the Science and Technology building, keep the fence line to your right hand side, follow the fence line left, turning back on yourself to head towards the Engineering building or continue down the Spine to reach the Management School and beyond. The steps alongside the ramp are still open for pedestrian access but are set to close from Monday 4th June. It is planned that at this point the ramp will open in order to maintain the thoroughfare. Please allow extra time to navigate this diversion.

29th May: The Science and Technology building will be kept open 24 hours a day between now and the 6th June to allow for the accessible diversion to be maintained during the closure of the ramp in engineering Square.

30th May: The lift near the entrance to the library will be out of order for up to two weeks. This is the only lift that accesses the upper part of C floor, so affects the Postgraduate study area and ISS training rooms.