Tag Archives: Lingerie Football League

UA92 IN THE TOONS

It’s been a tale of mixed fortunes for the Class of ’92 since the last subtext. Although Trafford Council has now given them the go-ahead for UA92, the plans for the main student accommodation have been knocked back and another site within the Stretford regeneration zone will have to be developed. Still, as a huge part of the cost of the whole gig will be borne by Trafford council-tax payers, the boys can hardly complain. However, things have not been going so well for Gary Neville’s other big project in Manchester, the Jackson’s Row development. Having been forced to withdraw his original scheme because of fierce local and national opposition, Gary recently submitted a revised scheme which involved building one 39-storey skyscraper instead of the two smaller ones in the original plan. Sadly, this has not found favour with Historic England, whose opposition to Gary’s first proposal had done so much to scupper it. They have written to Manchester City Council to say that they cannot support the new plan because of its visual impact on existing heritage buildings. So, is it back to the drawing board, or will Gary’s legendary charm persuade the Council to ignore Historic England’s advice?

But the news hasn’t all been about Gary. As well as Ryan Giggs’ elevation to manage Wales’ national football team, there has also been the appointment of Phil Neville as manager of the England women’s team. There was some surprise at this as Phil (a) has no experience of managing a team, apart from one game with Salford City FC, (b) has no experience of women’s football in any capacity, and (c) was appointed without having to go through the tedious business of actually applying for the job. That’s what being in the Class of ’92 can do for you. As is now the norm when anyone is appointed to a public position, there was an immediate trawl of his social media history, and some (allegedly) sexist tweets were duly revealed before he could delete them. Embarrassment all round. Phil embarked on PR blitz to try to repair the damage, which included a press conference where he denied that he was sexist (but rather spoiled the effect by stating that he ‘was the best man for the job’). Strangely, he neglected to mention the Class of 92’s support for the Lingerie Football League, surely something that would have been a suitable riposte to those who criticised his lack of experience of the women’s game.

Finally, the proliferating activities of the Class of ’92 has come to the attention of Guardian’s excellent strip cartoonist, David Squires. Readers unfamiliar with his work should think of him as a sort of sports-related Steve Bell. We at subtext particularly like his Orwellian take on UA92. This offering did not appear in the Graun’s print edition so for readers who don’t access the web version, the link is here: https://www.theguardian.com/football/ng-interactive/2018/jan/23/david-squires-on-ryan-giggs-phil-neville-and-the-class-of-92s-expanding-empire

SPORTS NEWS

TAKING ON THE STRETFORD END

In this issue, we publish a letter from a Stretford resident stating some of the objections from local residents to the siting of the new UA92 in the middle of their community (see Letters below). This is symptomatic of the growing – and strengthening – opposition in Stretford to the plans announced with much fanfare in September. Shortly after that announcement an online petition was launched which within days attracted over 900 signatures. The petition – addressed to Trafford Council – highlighted the environmental and social impact of having a 6,500-strong ‘student village’ built in the area. Local people have long campaigned to have the damage caused by previous ‘regeneration’ schemes to be put right, and were hoping that the current Stretford Town Centre Masterplan would at least begin to address this. Instead, they are having to deal with a scheme which, in their view, would make their situation worse.

Residents are particularly incensed that all this has been presented as a fait accompli by Trafford Council. There had been no consultation with residents and even local councillors had been kept in the dark. Since the plans were announced there has been one public consultation meeting, with another to come. However, some of those who attended the meeting are of the opinion that the Council is simply going through the motions and that it was all a done deal. At this stage, it is not clear if it was UA92 that first approached the Council for a piece of the Trafford Masterplan action or if it was the other way round. What we do know is that MediaCity in Salford was under consideration as the UA92 site when, late in the day, the Stretford option appeared on the table, suggesting that it was Trafford Council who made the approach. It would appear that the star appeal of the Class of 92 was such that the Council was prepared to make a significant change to its own development plan in order to accommodate their wishes.

Trafford is not the first local authority in the area to be dazzled by the glamour of these footballing legends. Earlier this year the Salford Star announced the winner of one of its annual awards for ‘the most deserving individuals and organisations in the city for their stupid statements, dodgy dealings and iffy activities over the last twelve months’. And the winner of this accolade for 2016 was Salford City Council for ‘the very strange manner in which planning permission was obtained for Salford City FC to develop its Moor Lane stadium’, the same club that’s 50% owned by the Class of 92. And who owns the other half? Why, none other than Mr Peter Lim, who already controls 75% of the said Class of 92. The Salford Star also highlighted the role of a company called Zerum Construction Management Ltd, which seems to specialise in helping development companies find the cheapest way through those pesky planning regulations. A quick search of the Companies House database reveals that Zerum is 75%-owned by a Mr Gary Neville. Not for nothing has the Star decided to name its annual prize the ‘Gary Neville Finger in Pies Award’.

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GIGGSY THOUGHT ON HIGHER EDUCATION WITH FOOTBALL CHARACTERISTICS IN THE GETTING RICHER ERA

The UA92 website continues to astound with its philosophical pronouncements and its steadfast refusal to be bound by niceties of syntax and logic. Its ‘Vision’, we are told, is to ‘educate preparation to realise dreams’. And what does this mean? Apparently, it’s about ‘giving our graduates the tools, challenges, support and confidence to make amazing happen.’

Ryan Giggs, long-experienced in giving 110% effort when he played for Man U, gives his own prescription for ‘making amazing happen’. ‘Here at UA92’, he states, ‘we believe that tenacity, preparedness, passion and hard work play an equally important role. Add commitment, inner fire and the right preparation, and you can compete at a level far beyond your inborn potential…’

While we at the Mother Campus limit our ambitions to helping students develop to their full potential, at UA92 they will be encouraged, nay enabled, to go ‘far beyond’ that potential. To infinity and beyond, indeed. And all this, in the closing words of the ‘Vision’, will be ‘underpinned by the academic rigour of top-performing, world-renowned Lancaster University.’

We have been warned.

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MAN-U-SPLAINING

Aside from lauding its ‘good character building’, UA92 has also been publicly committing itself to a widening participation agenda.

Presenting educational opportunities to people from marginalised communities requires tact, empathy, and an understanding of the barriers that people face, and who better to smash stereotypes and level the playing field than the Class of ’92? A body whose commitment to ‘closing the gender pay gap’ and ‘generating… public interest in the women’s game’ culminated in their sponsorship of the Lingerie Football League (http://tinyurl.com/yce32ouz)

We look forward to UA92’s positive presentation of poor, disabled, and ethnic minority students. We suggest a flashmob of soot encrusted children in Victorian dress, Joey Deacon impressions, and a black and white minstrel show [that’s enough – ed].