When I dropped out of Uni because of depression I never thought I’d become a professor. I struggled to eat and sleep and stopped concentrating. I would start crying at random times, often around other people. This lasted for most of my second year, eventually caused some concern from tutors and I was “advised” to take a year out. I was given medication and a short stay in hospital. I felt like it was the end of my life. I had worked so hard to go to Uni and was told it would be “the best years of my life”. I felt guilty and ashamed and like there must be something wrong with me because I was having a shit time. I couldn’t see a way forward.
I left the dreaming spires of Oxford and went to work in a heroin clinic in the North West. Within a few months, my mood improved dramatically! I did return to Uni, enjoyed my final year, and went on to train and work in mental health services. My own experiences taught me more about mental health than any formal training I have since had. I hope my experiences have made me a more empathic psychologist.
I now have a teenager at Uni and I try to manage expectations. Everyone will have a different experience and have good and bad days. We talk about the extra challenges of learning to be independent, and the loneliness of leaving home and lifelong friends. I make sure they know exactly what help is available and encourage them to use it early. Finally, they know that if things get bad they don’t have to stay. For me having time away was crucial. It was the beginning of my career, rather than the end.
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