From age 10 onwards I have experienced significant episodes of debilitating anxiety and depression, reaching a peak every few years. These were often associated with stressful circumstances in my life, but not always. My low confidence and tendencies to overthink, ruminate and catastrophise have never been far below the surface.
I have always had positive and supportive friends and family around me and a safe place to talk about my feelings, but I found it difficult and couldn’t find the language to explain what I was experiencing. I have spent almost my entire life to date thinking that my episodes were just part of what life feels like sometimes, and that I just needed to get on with it.
Last year I had my most severe experience of breakdown, triggered by workload and stress. With the help of close friends and family, I realised that the illness I was feeling could be helped, and the emotional burdens I was carrying could be dealt with in a different way. Through a combination of making changes to my circumstances, and processing my experience through talking with a therapist, I have begun to learn to walk through life with less of a weight on my shoulders.
As a living book I’d be very happy to describe and explain my experiences of mental ill health and what has contributed to them, as well as the realisation of what I was experiencing and the changes I have made to feel emotionally healthier.
Keywords: anxiety; depression