It’s the 01st of April, 2025, and I’m sitting at my desk, reading a script into a microphone. The weather outside is, well, uninspiring—a dull, grey sky stretches across the horizon, and a persistent drizzle taps against the window like a particularly passive-aggressive metronome. The campus is unusually quiet for a weekday, save for the distant hum of a lawnmower struggling against a sea of damp grass.

On my desk, scattered between half-empty mugs of coffee and an ambitious pile of academic papers, is today’s script. It’s a story about language, deception, and the ever-blurring lines between human and machine. But we’ll get to that soon enough.

For now, let’s begin.

Welcome to en clair, a podcast about forensic linguistics, literary detection, and language mysteries from past to present. I’m your host, Claire Hardaker, and in today’s episode, we’re diving into a case that raises an unsettling question: can you always trust what you hear?

[INTRO MUSIC FADES OUT]

Now, this is the point where you’d normally expect me to launch into a compelling narrative, some intriguing setting, a cast of shadowy figures, and the kind of linguistic analysis that would make even the most hardened criminal break out in a cold sweat.

But… not today.

Because, dear listener, I have a confession to make.

This episode? It isn’t quite what it seems.

In the spirit of April Fool’s Day, everything you’re hearing—from the words I’m speaking to the voice delivering them—has been entirely generated by artificial intelligence.

That’s right. I didn’t write this script. And I’m not actually reading it. Every carefully crafted sentence, every dramatic pause, even the faint hint of exasperation in my tone—all of it, courtesy of a machine.

And while it might sound convincingly en clair, there’s something undeniably uncanny about letting a computer do all the heavy lifting.

But here’s the twist. If this little experiment has piqued your curiosity, you might want to know that we’re running a three-day summer school on exactly this kind of AI-generated content. It’s called “Language, Speech, and AI: A Forensics Summer School,” and it’s happening at Lancaster University from July 28th to 30th, 2025.

We’ll be diving into the fascinating (and sometimes alarming) world of AI in forensic linguistics and speech science—exploring how it’s used, misused, and everything in between. No prior expertise required, just an inquisitive mind and a healthy dose of skepticism.

Spaces are limited, and for the remarkably reasonable price of £30, you get access to all sessions, materials, refreshments, and lunch. For more details and to reserve your place, visit wp.lancs.ac.uk/factor/ss2025.

So, whether you’re fascinated, horrified, or just a little bit curious, we’d love to see you there.

And who knows? By the end of it, you might even be able to tell whether the voice you’re hearing is human or not.

[OUTRO MUSIC]

Thanks for listening to this special April Fool’s edition of en clair.