Week 5 is always the height of the term. I’ve found this week I have ‘to do’ lists as long as my arm, my diary is full and I feel like once I’ve finished one thing it is immediately replaced by something else. This time last year I was feeling the pressure quite a bit too, I remember having handed in my annotated bibliography for History and feeling an overwhelming sense of relief, but I knew that I was in the run up to essays and that is genuinely one of the scariest things in the world (well, it is for me anyway). This year, as much as I’d like to say that I feel confident in going into my essays ‘because I’ve done it all before’, I can’t – that would be a massive lie. I am feeling the pressure a little bit at the moment because I just feel overwhelmed – I don’t know whether I’m coming or going sometimes and I feel like I need to get back on the straight and narrow; it’s just a case of finding my way back without getting even more worried about everything on the way!

However, there are always two people guaranteed to help me find my way back: my parents. Their visit this weekend could not have come at a better time! It was so lovely to see them because they always know exactly what to say and know how to calm me down as I am starting to get the essay jitters. We had a couple of really lovely, quiet evenings in completed (naturally) with cake and tea to finish things off. On Saturday my mum and dad came to visit my flat in town and it was so surreal; it was like being what I imagine some sort of adult would be like. My dad couldn’t stop mentioning how much he liked the ‘speck’ (the location for any of you not fluent in my dad’s lingo!) and my mum just seemed so happy that we had managed to make it look a little bit homely. It just felt odd to ask what time they were coming over to mine; it sounds strange but honestly, it was one of the most peculiar moments of my uni experience so far. On Saturday evening we had a takeaway from GoBurrito and watched the firework display together. I have been going to fireworks with my dad since I was small and being able to do it this year was so lovely. We were able to see the fireworks from the road where I live, so we all pulled on our hoodies and watched outside, with my friend, Becky, coming to join us too. The display this year was excellent! There were so many and they were so pretty! I couldn’t help but smile as the sparkles fell from the sky and the loud bangs rumbled around the city. I was with three of my favourite people on one of my favourite evenings of the year.

I really don’t know what it is about my parents that calms me down you much, you know. For most of the week I was really stressing about sorting out my CV because I wanted to have something decent to give Victoria, my mentor, who you may recall me mentioning last week. Before this weekend my CV consisted of my current job at home, the fact I was hoping to study history at university and my previous education, along with a cluster of extra-curricular activities. And by CV, in this respect, I mean a bullet pointed list on a Word Document. My verdict: not good! I have been to quite a few workshops here at Lancaster that are supposed to help you with creating your CV, making it effective and making it stand out, but despite being inundated with handy tips, effective methods and eye-catching layouts I could not think where to start. The careers workshops here are excellent, it’s just difficult to use those tips in an effective way, or even just to make start – it genuinely was like the classic allegory of ripping off a band-aid: I just had to do it: sit down and illustrate why I am an excellent candidate. The only question that was sticking out in my mind, though, was ‘what does make me an excellent candidate?’ I don’t know why it’s so difficult to explain; it’s just writing down the sort of person you are, the sort of things you do and the sorts of skills you have – when you really strip it back to the bare bones, but for a couple of days this week I have sat down to write my CV and have withdrawn almost immediately, either out of fear or generally not knowing what to write. . I knew that when I showed it to Victoria she would (definitely) make some changes, but I just didn’t want to give her something that was completely rubbish. But as soon as I started to talk it out to my parents, just mentioning the sorts of things I’d like to put in and the things that I think are important made it so much easier to get writing. So now it is done and I am awaiting feedback with bated breath!

So that is my CV done! But I am worried about essays. They seem to be piling up and I feel like the work is getting harder and harder while I am stuck behind. When I see other people working I keep thinking ‘Oh, they’ve done so much more than me!’ or ‘They probably know it better than I do’, ‘why am I doing this and not the essay?’ Like I said at the start, the list just gets longer and longer and if I’m honest, I have felt l like I don’t know what I’m doing some of  the time. I’m worried about the time and having so much to do. But having seen my mum and dad I have regrouped somewhat and I am trying to keep focused on what I have to do. I guess there is one thing I do know: seeing my parents was definitely the best medicine.

Have a lovely week, everyone!

History Hugs,

Eleanor