{"id":2052,"date":"2018-02-04T16:20:11","date_gmt":"2018-02-04T16:20:11","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/translatingpain\/?p=2052"},"modified":"2018-02-04T16:20:11","modified_gmt":"2018-02-04T16:20:11","slug":"she-is-struggling-with-the-concept","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/she-is-struggling-with-the-concept\/","title":{"rendered":"&#8216;She is struggling with the concept&#8217;, by Lucy Goodwill"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino;font-size: 14pt\">She is struggling with the concept of her body as a sensual object. She lifts the covers, brings her feet to meet the floor and winces as she stands. Legs laced with his now buckle as she walks, and shockwaves sparked by his touch are replaced by short-circuiting pain in her nerves.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino;font-size: 14pt\">Soft lips, coarse hair, hot skin, cool sweat, forget the pain, leave that til morning.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino;font-size: 14pt\">She makes it to the door; tries not to wake him so he won\u2019t see her transformation. From time to time she indulges in the mythology of her beauty; an existence where physicality means something other than her suffering.<\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino;font-size: 14pt\">She pours the coffee that will focus her, swallows tablets that will soothe, takes a shower and embraces the heat that reaches deep into her bones. She follows the steps that will make her feel human and, symptom by symptom, she rebuilds the myth.<\/span><\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<ul>\n<li><span style=\"font-family: georgia, palatino;font-size: 14pt\"><em>by Lucy Goodwill<\/em><\/span><\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.twitter.com\/lucygoodwill\">@lucygoodwill at twitter<\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><span style=\"font-size: 14pt\">U.K.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>She is struggling with the concept of her body as a sensual object. She lifts the covers, brings her feet to meet the floor and winces as she stands. Legs laced with his now buckle as she walks, and shockwaves sparked by his touch are replaced by short-circuiting pain in her nerves. Soft lips, coarse&hellip; <a class=\"continue\" href=\"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/she-is-struggling-with-the-concept\/\">Continue Reading<span> &#8216;She is struggling with the concept&#8217;, by Lucy Goodwill<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":36,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[16],"tags":[28,101],"class_list":["post-2052","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-anthology","tag-body","tag-sexuality"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p9mjRE-x6","jetpack_likes_enabled":false,"jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":3931,"url":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/hello-pain-lets-dance-by-wendy-jones\/","url_meta":{"origin":2052,"position":0},"title":"&#8216;hello pain let&#8217;s dance!&#8217; by Wendy Jones","author":"strongs","date":"May 7, 2019","format":false,"excerpt":"Hello pain let's dance! 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I held her hand and we shared a\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Anthology&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Anthology","link":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/category\/anthology\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2446,"url":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/the-sick-mother\/","url_meta":{"origin":2052,"position":3},"title":"&#8216;The Sick Mother&#8217;, by Amy Wray Irish","author":"strongs","date":"February 15, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"(after a poem by Jane Kenyon) The sick mother stayed in the car During swimming, music, dance. Not yet fifty, She had learned the many ways The able-bodied become just bodies. Afternoon always came too quick With its carpools and constant motion. She was still the secretary Of details and\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Anthology&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Anthology","link":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/category\/anthology\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":2688,"url":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/2688-2\/","url_meta":{"origin":2052,"position":4},"title":"&#8216;Swans and Swallows&#8217;, by\u00a0Mary Marie Dixon","author":"strongs","date":"February 23, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"(After Tennyson\u2019s \u2018The Dying Swan\u2019) In this wasting plain a Wedge of swans Tangle in water So deep her eyes In the gyring ferment I am impotent Warming blankets only burn The stab I cannot touch her I cannot reach her To this berth I cannot go She writhes White\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Anthology&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Anthology","link":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/category\/anthology\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":3811,"url":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/hail-mary-by-nicole-schafenacker\/","url_meta":{"origin":2052,"position":5},"title":"&#8216;hail mary&#8217;, by Nicole Schafenacker","author":"strongs","date":"August 28, 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"she is in the sauna drinking coke and eating salted peanuts one knee resting against the hot wood, silvery hair damp and sticking to her shoulders we discuss midwifery and the what it\u2019s like to catch a slippery baby in your palms she is standing in seal skin coat with\u2026","rel":"","context":"In &quot;Anthology&quot;","block_context":{"text":"Anthology","link":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/category\/anthology\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2052","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/36"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2052"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2052\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2052"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2052"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/a-bel-abroad\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2052"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}