{"id":72,"date":"2017-10-12T15:23:43","date_gmt":"2017-10-12T15:23:43","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/?p=72"},"modified":"2017-11-22T11:44:53","modified_gmt":"2017-11-22T11:44:53","slug":"contributed-article-darwin-and-my-trousers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/2017\/10\/12\/contributed-article-darwin-and-my-trousers\/","title":{"rendered":"CONTRIBUTED ARTICLE: DARWIN AND MY TROUSERS"},"content":{"rendered":"

<\/span>As the summer drizzles to a close and we all look forward to getting our teeth into the new term (or at least limping through until Christmas), I am drawn to speculate on the impact of our Spine redevelopment. The last vestiges of the 60\u2019s dream are to be found standing forlornly in dripping peninsulas of wood and tar around Alexandra square. \u00a0Being able to walk the length of the campus without the elements taking their toll on clothing and spirits is no more.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, what replaces it? The new spine covering is more modern. It lets in more light (because there is less of it), and it is certainly airier. The brutal winter winds of Lancaster will have no problems reaching places that previously they were unable to penetrate. As the campus fills up, with the new term getting into full swing, it is the author\u2019s belief that an amusing new spectacle will be enjoyed by all who are safely observing from inside a building. We might even write papers on it \u2013 \u2018Darwinian theory in practice: survival of the fittest at Lancaster University\u2019.<\/span><\/p>\n

I could be wrong, but I suspect that there is a nice equation that could be written which describes the relationship between the reduced surface area of the new covering on the Spine, the increase in height and the reduced area of dry ground to be found beneath. It could be further developed to introduce wind-speed and direction in combination with precipitation so that we can be better informed on how far up an individual\u2019s legs the rain will reach on windy days compared to calm ones. The distance that the individual is forced to walk from the wall will certainly correlate with the relative dampness experienced. I am not qualified to write such an equation, but even to my layman\u2019s brain it is clear that on a blustery, wet day in Lancaster most people are going to get wet legs.<\/span><\/p>\n

At this point my whimsical mind wanders off into imagining the scene; older staff being pushed out into the rain by younger, fitter campus residents intent on protecting their \u00a350 hair-dos and expensive footwear, \u00a0the oldsters\u2019 pitiful cries of \u2018Don\u2019t you know who I am\u2019 quickly lost in the swirling vortex of a November day. University executives will quickly learn that meetings must be arranged close to home so that they can \u00a0prevent the crease dropping out of their trousers below the knee. Alternatively, a rash of new posts as \u2018Red Flag Assistant\u2019 might be seen – staff employed to walk ahead of said executives, clearing the path closest to the wall and preserving their sartorial elegance. In short, survival of the fittest. Things do not look well for yours truly.<\/span><\/p>\n

So, having accepted that I am not particularly fit, or \u00a0having sufficient standing to merit my own Red Flag Assistant, I am driven to rely on my cunning and guile. In considering the problem I have had to determine my own position in the Darwinian pecking order. Whilst not fit, I am capable of brutality in the face of wet clothing. Though not important, I can shout in a manner that might confuse more easily cowed individuals into assuming that I am important and that it is my RFA\u2019s day off. On that basis I think my position under the covering is probably mid-stream. Probably dry above the waist, but squarely in wet-leg territory.<\/span><\/p>\n

With that in mind, prototype designs for half-length waterproof over-trousers are already completed. These may be slipped on over the footwear and are held in place above the knee by strap or elastic, depending upon the wearer\u2019s preference. Donned before a walk down the campus, these will protect the mid-stream wearer from the crease disaster, and can be easily and discreetly removed upon reaching your destination. Sales will be limited and availability will be restricted to those neither fit nor important. It\u2019s only fair.<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

As the summer drizzles to a close and we all look forward to getting our teeth into the new term (or at least limping through until Christmas), I am drawn to speculate on the impact of our Spine redevelopment. The … Continue reading →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":568,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2},"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false},"categories":[21],"tags":[11,13,121,22],"class_list":["post-72","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-contributed-article","tag-design-the-spine","tag-facilities","tag-issue-166","tag-rain"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p99sHo-1a","jetpack-related-posts":[{"id":63,"url":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/2017\/10\/12\/letters\/","url_meta":{"origin":72,"position":0},"title":"LETTERS","author":"Johnny Unger","date":"October 12 2017","format":false,"excerpt":"Dear subtext, Can anyone who saw this kind of behaviour from doors [see article on weird door behaviour in subtext 165] let me know which ones? Most of the access controlled doors are supposed to fail open, especially those on fire routes. I'd like to investigate ones not doing the\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "letters"","block_context":{"text":"letters","link":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/category\/letters\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":624,"url":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/2018\/06\/07\/access-all-areas\/","url_meta":{"origin":72,"position":1},"title":"ACCESS ALL AREAS","author":"Johnny Unger","date":"June 7 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"We are all mightily fed-up with navigating our way around the building site that is campus. Yes, it is inconvenient and means a few more minutes walking from one part of campus to another. But what does all this chaos mean if your mobility is restricted in any way? Below\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "news"","block_context":{"text":"news","link":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/category\/news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":587,"url":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/2018\/05\/24\/wet-dreams\/","url_meta":{"origin":72,"position":2},"title":"WET DREAMS","author":"Johnny Unger","date":"May 24 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Another SCAN piece that caught our eye (SCAN\u2019s news reportage has been good this year, hasn\u2019t it?) was the report that significant parts of the unfaltering spine refurbishment have been ditched to speed up the process. Notably, the \u2018Wetlands Bridge\u2019 project opposite the Charles Carter building has been dropped so\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "news"","block_context":{"text":"news","link":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/category\/news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":596,"url":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/2018\/05\/24\/sticks-and-stones\/","url_meta":{"origin":72,"position":3},"title":"STICKS AND STONES","author":"Johnny Unger","date":"May 24 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"How difficult is it to lay some paving stones? Some members of the subtext collective have some domestic experience in this sort of activity. Patios have been laid without too many problems. So if this is actually your job of work, laying some paving stones as a professional contractor should\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "news"","block_context":{"text":"news","link":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/category\/news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":585,"url":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/2018\/05\/24\/space-jam\/","url_meta":{"origin":72,"position":4},"title":"SPACE JAM","author":"Johnny Unger","date":"May 24 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"We\u2019ve become so accustomed to the building work that perhaps we no longer see the effect of closing the roads and byways through the campus on those who aren\u2019t so used to it. In particular, we greet closures of the access points to the University as normal. They aren\u2019t. Memo\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "news"","block_context":{"text":"news","link":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/category\/news\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]},{"id":686,"url":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/2018\/06\/21\/subtext-180-better-sorry-than-safe\/","url_meta":{"origin":72,"position":5},"title":"subtext 180 – ‘better sorry than safe’","author":"Johnny Unger","date":"June 21 2018","format":false,"excerpt":"Fortnightly during term time. Letters, contributions, & comments:\u00a0subtext-editors@lancaster.ac.uk Back issues & subscription details:\u00a0http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/about\/ In this issue:\u00a0editorial, welcome week, deanshare, lab location, UA92 galore, FASS typos, house-building, union blues, shart, poem, TV review, letters ***************************************************** EDITORIAL Gaps, holes, deficits, cuts, absences. Call them what you will, it would be hard to\u2026","rel":"","context":"In "editorial"","block_context":{"text":"editorial","link":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/category\/editorial\/"},"img":{"alt_text":"","src":"","width":0,"height":0},"classes":[]}],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/568"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=72"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":73,"href":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/72\/revisions\/73"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=72"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=72"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/wp.lancs.ac.uk\/subtext\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=72"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}